Cascade
by allie34
Summary: A mysterious woman from the alpha quadrant arrives on Voyager, reminding Janeway of a past she thought she had forgotten. As truths are uncovered could this visitor lead to a way home? JC
1. Chapter 1

Cascade

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager is not mine, I'm just borrowing the ship and the characters for a short while.

A/N This story is set at the end of season 7, about the same time Endgame would have happened. I didn't like how the finale left things, so I'm going to find another way to bring them home. I should warn readers who hate C7 that I have left the relationship in, but only because it makes an interesting hurdle for the Janeway-Chakotay saga to overcome. Future chapters will probably contain infrequent bad language and adult topics are touched on from the very start, so readers of a sensitive nature have been warned.

Please read review for every chapter, encouragement will only make me write faster, and I'm happy to take onboard any suggestions that you have. Enjoy :)

Chapter 1

Lips cascaded down her throat to her neck but she remained in control and restrained until he began focussing his attentions on a highly sensitive area behind her ear, at which point a soft moan escaped her mouth. He seemed to take satisfaction in breaking her reserve as he continued his manipulation of her soft sumptuous flesh, one hand gently roaming her back, the other on her thigh and slowly moving upwards.

Kathryn pulled back, and when he tried to kiss her mouth she moved completely out of his grasp. Knowing better than to push her, he sank back onto the mattress with a muffled thud and let out a frustrated sigh. "What's wrong?" he asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

"I'm not sure," she refused to meet his gaze.

"You're not sure, or you don't want to tell me?" There was something about his accent that softened the tone of anything he said, but she knew better than to underestimate his patience.

"It's work," she replied.

He ran a hand through his dark hair and muttered something under his breath that she wasn't quite able to catch, "I suppose whatever this work is, you can't tell me because it would break one of your directives…" she didn't answer, "why are you here Kathryn?"

"What do you mean?" her head shot round.

"You only come here when you want something from me… and only twice have you ever stayed the whole night," he explained.

To her own credit she blushed and looked a little awkward, "you know why I can never stay…"

"I know what you tell me," he cut her short.

"Michael…" but the look on his face forced her not to go on, she could already see that any excuse she gave now would fall on deaf ears. "I'm sorry," she was genuine in her apology, he was right to feel used and she had little defence for it. She tried to catch his eye, but he had turned away from her, and knowing a lost cause when she saw one she reached down to the floor for her top and pulled it over her head.

"You're going?" he sounded surprised as he watched her slip her jacket back on.

"I wouldn't have been able to stay much longer anyway," she replied, omitting the reason why was due to the fact she had only booked enough time on the holodeck for another hour.

"We should talk about this."

"Not tonight," she argued weakly, "I'm tired… we would only end up arguing."

"Surely that's better than never confronting this!" he raised his voice angrily.

Kathryn resisted the urge to look back at him as she walked from his bedroom, tapping her comm. badge the moment she had closed the door behind her to end the programme. The plastered walls of the early 20th century building shimmered around her, before vanishing from existence, leaving her standing alone in the empty holodeck. She allowed herself the smallest of moments to dwell on thoughts of the Irish barman who had been her lover for well over a year now, but before she could become consumed by the disappointment and regrets that had built between them over that time she skilfully cleared her mind and strolled confidently and purposefully from the deck.

V

Chakotay sat in an almost deserted mess hall, gazing at the woman across from him with a look of complete absorption in her every word on his face, but whilst she spoke, he couldn't help his mind drift off elsewhere. This was his ninth date with the former drone, and he was still surprised at the idea they were dating at all.

He had deeply mistrusted Seven when she had first come aboard Voyager, and objected openly to her continued presence aboard the ship for many months. He had grown to resent her disruptive attitude and the attentions she had received from Kathryn; it had taken him a lot longer than many others to accept her as part of the crew. Even when he had come to see her as any other crew member, he had still kept his distance from her, feeling no need to reach out to her when she already had the doctor and captain for support. However, when she had approached him with a proposal for them to date, although surprised at the unexpectedness of her offer, he also felt flattered and now excitement at the prospect of this new relationship.

Although unable to deny a certain attraction to Seven, he had never before considered pursuing a romantic relationship with her, but when he thought about it, he realised that the many women he had ended up with in his life, he had initially resisted all attraction towards.

At the academy, his first real love had been his history lecturer; it had been the subject he had most been looking forward to, and when a beautiful woman in her early thirties had stood in front of them on that first day he had thought he would enjoy the subject all the more with her teaching it. It didn't take long for him to realise that their views clashed on almost every point, and it was with great surprise that their long debates after lectures had lead them to a brief affair.

The pattern had repeated over the years, and each time he never saw it coming until it happened and he realised he was again infatuated with the women who only months, days or hours before had infuriated him. Each affair ended in a similar manner, the passion would fade, as would the initial attraction, and Chakotay would start to see great flaws in the perfect image he had made them out to be. He would find himself arguing constantly and becoming irritated by the very habits he had previously found charming. His mind skimmed over the various women he had known, steered well clear of Seska before stopping at the only one for which the attraction and passion and love for who had never faded.

When he had first clashed gazes with Kathryn Janeway over a view screen he had been determined to dislike her, even as he had stood on her bridge for the first time and she revealed Tuvok as a spy he was convinced that he would never find common ground with her. But there was something about her that caused him to do a very fast u-turn, something which had quickly grown into a fondness, a caring, and a love stronger than any other he had known. But she refused him, not in words, rarely in actions, but in the way she looked at him whenever they came too close; a pleading look that that begged for him not to go further, for they both knew how easily she would give into him, and they also knew the damage they would do if they did. So through his love and his respect for her he maintained the barriers that they had long ago established.

It took him a while to accept that she may never be able to accept him completely into her heart, but it was a lot longer before he felt ready to move on and started to look elsewhere for the long term commitment to another that he now craved so deeply.

Seven stopped talking and he looked up sharply to meet her gaze, seeing an expectant look on her face he realised that she was waiting for a response from him. Chakotay, never one to be caught out not listening replied with a neutral shrug, "I'm not sure," he said, hoping that it would be an adequate response.

"Well, if you see lieutenant Torres can you have a word with her about it?"

Confusion flickered across Chakotay's face, but he was quick to cover it with a smile, "of course," he blindly promised.

She seemed satisfied with his response, and he was silently thankful when she changed the topic of discussion, one that this time he paid much more attention.

V

_Day 2_

Harry was both surprised and delighted when he stepped into the turbo lift to see that Tom Paris was already there. The pilot however, barely seemed to acknowledge him.

"You look dreadful," Harry noted Tom's tired face.

"Thank you," Tom suppressed a yawn, "B'Elanna woke me up at three o'clock this morning asking me to make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"Oh," Harry placed a sympathetic hand on his friend's shoulder. B'Elanna was now in her third trimester of pregnancy and due any time in the next couple of weeks, and although Tom was looking forward to becoming a father, and up until recently had been enjoying his wife's pregnancy, for the past few days he had been up most of the night helping to satisfy his wife's food cravings. "She's still wanting the sandwiches?"

"Yes," he sighed, "I tried making her a batch before bed last night, but apparently they have to be made freshly."

"Couldn't she make it herself?"

Tom rolled his eyes, "apparently no one can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like I do," his face lifted slightly at that thought, before again it fell to be replaced by a tired and worn out look. "After she woke me up at three this morning it took me a couple of hours to get back to sleep, so now I'm knackered."

Harry felt sorry for his friend, but before he could offer him some words of sympathy the turbo lift doors opened and they both stepped out onto the bridge.

"Ten minutes early this morning Mr Paris," Chakotay smiled knowingly, B'Elanna had become quite difficult to be around for the past few days, he guessed that maybe Tom was wanting to get some time apart from her. "This must be a new record."

Tom took the comment in good humour, and grinned back as he sat at his station, "you know me commander, always up for a new challenge."

"Well how about this one: the Tunaki have limited the speed of ships in their space to warp two, think you can manage to cut our speed before we arrive?"

Tom let out an annoyed groan: he hated flying at low warp, "I just might be able to manage that."

"Good," Chakotay relaxed in his seat, "Harry, how long until we are within hailing range of the prime planet?"

"At least another eleven hours."

Just then the captain stepped out onto the bridge, "status," she called out.

"We should be within the Tunaki system in twelve hours, they have sent us a docking permit for their lead trading station," Chakotay reported, watching as she stepped down into the centre of the bridge.

"Have they given approval for crew shore leave?" she wavered by her seat, but did not sit down.

"The crew will be free to roam the trading station, but planet visits will require twelve hours quarantine before going down," he responded, glancing through the notes on his console to make sure.

"Is that on the doctor's request, or theirs?" she frowned, unsure she was happy for the crew to go through such a procedure.

"Theirs," he replied, "but the doctor has approved it, he says it wouldn't be too bad for the crew to do the same thing after every away mission; apparently he's fed up of the away teams contaminating the rest of the crew when they return," Chakotay added so that only she could hear.

Her blank expression cleared for a moment to crack grin at his comment, but all too soon her face clouded over, "I'll be in by office," she informed him, before making her way from the bridge.

Chakotay felt unable to explain her mood over the past couple of weeks. She was spending more time than usual in her office, and even when she was on the bridge she refused to join in with the friendly banter and conversation. She had started to address him in a much more formal manner, and had turned down his last three offers for dinner. Chakotay had mentioned his observations to B'Elanna and Tuvok, but they both denied noticing any change in the captain.

At first he had assumed that it was just because he was closer to her that he saw mild changes that others weren't able to see, now he was starting to get the impression that it was only him she was reacting differently to, but why he couldn't be sure. He would have thought it was his involvement with Seven that had sparked it, but he had dismissed that idea early on as he and Seven had been so careful to conceal their new relationship. So his only other assumption was that he had done or said something to upset her, and he knew that only with time would she reveal to him what that had been.

After an uneventful hour or so had passed on the bridge the peace was disrupted when Chakotay's comm. badge chirped into action. _"Seven to the bridge."_

"Chakotay here."

"_Long range sensors are picking up a distress signal… it appears to be of Starfleet origin."_

There was a stunned silence on the bridge, "location?" he requested.

"_Two light years from our current position, I am sending through co-ordinates now."_

"Captain to the bridge," he tapped his comm. badge the moment Seven had finished and quickly explained the situation.

"…avoiding Tanaki space we could get there in eleven hours at warp eight," Kathryn heard the end of Tom Paris's sentence as she stepped onto the bridge.

Chakotay caught her eye and she nodded consent, "set a course, maximum warp," he ordered as she sat down beside him, pulling up her console to catch up on the last couple minutes of action.

"Captain, the distress signal has stopped transmitting," Harry announced from his station.

"Do we have it's last known location?" Kathryn looked up to see the ensign nod, "then we'll head for that," she turned to her first officer, "ask Seven to see if long range scanners can get a lock onto the vessel itself."

"Captain, may I advice caution, Starfleet has no knowledge of any other federation ships other than our own in this vicinity of space," Tuvok warned.

Kathryn nodded, she had learnt all too many times in the past to be wary of anything that sounded too good to be true. "It's still a distress signal Tuvok, we have an obligation to respond." The Vulcan raised an eyebrow, but made no further comment. "Harry, contact the Tunaki and let them know we will be delayed," she instructed.

Chakotay had just finished another brief word with Seven over the comm. when he looked across at his captain, "Seven says she will try to get a lock, but preliminary scans show no sign of a warp trail, and she will be unable to detect any power signatures until we are within half a light year of the vessel."

Voyager's captain nodded, and sitting back she resided herself to wait.

The time passed all too quickly, one moment they were heading towards the ghost of the vessel's last coordinates, the next it felt like they were searching for a needle in a haystack as they attempted to track down any clue as to where the ship had moved on to. Knowing that the ship had not gone to warp narrowed down the search area considerably, and as an hour passed with no sensor readings picking up anything remotely like what they were looking for, it started to feel as if either the Starfleet distress signal they had picked up had been nothing more than a sensor glitch.

"_Seven to Janeway,"_ the former Borg's voice suddenly filled the tense silence on the bridge, _"captain, I am picking up faint power readings from a small ship one thousand kilometres from our current position."_

Kathryn sat up a little straighter in her chair, "can you determine the ship's origin?"

"_I believe that it was the source of the distress signal,"_ she answered, _"but from this distance I cannot make an identification."_

Kathryn stood from her seat, "Tom, take us in closer, maximum impulse."

The pilot did as instructed, the ship lurching through space, whilst the inertial dampeners removed all sensation of the sudden acceleration.

"I am not picking up any life signs," Harry announced after only a few minutes, "our sensors seem unable to penetrate through the ship."

"Are we within hailing range?" he nodded, "try hailing."

They waited. "No response captain, I am expanding hailing frequencies."

"Captain, the ship appears to be of Starfleet design, but I do not recognise the cereal number as any ship currently in service," Tuvok informed her.

"On screen." The star filled void that had previously been displayed on the view screen disappeared and was replaced by a close up of the small ship they had been searching for. It looked no larger than a shuttle, but with its black panelling and sleek design it did not look like anything they had seen before in Starfleet.

Tom whistled at seeing the ship for the first time, "if that's how they're making them these days, I want one."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves Mr Paris," Kathryn warned, but felt her own heart leap a little at the thought that maybe Starfleet had managed to send a ship to the delta quadrant. "Why are they not responding?" she didn't wait for an answer as she turned back to Tuvok, "is there any evidence of damage to the ship?"

Slowly he nodded, "I am detecting minor fractures to the outer hull, but there could be internal damage we are unable to detect."

"Captain, we are receiving a response, audio only."

"Open a channel," Kathryn suppressed the excitement that rose from her belly to her throat.

"_Unknown vessel, please identify yourself,"_ came the authorative voice of a woman.

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager. Who am I speaking to?"

"_Voyager?"_ The woman on the other ship sounded surprised, _"then we are in the delta quadrant?"_

"Yes," Kathryn replied patiently.

There was a long pause, _"my sensors are currently offline… can I ask how you managed to locate this ship?"_

"We followed the source of your distress signal," Kathryn explained, "we were surprised that it was transmitted with Starfleet codes, we were not aware of any other federation vessels in this area of space."

"_This ship is a transwarp prototype, we only arrived from the alpha quadrant thirteen hours ago,"_ the woman explained, _"my name is Artuso, I am a Starfleet test pilot for the USS Falcon. Our ship obtained damage from the test flight and my co-pilot requires medical attention, would it be possible to come aboard Voyager?"_

"Of course, however our sensors are unable to penetrate your shields, if you lower them we will transport both you and your co-pilot aboard and tractor your ship into our shuttle bay," Kathryn suggested calmly, trying to ignore the excitement of the bridge crew around her.

"_It is not the ship's shields you are unable to penetrate,"_ the pilot informed her, _"it is the ship itself which is reflecting your sensor's attempts… may I transport my co-pilot directly to your sickbay and then fly into the shuttle bay myself?"_

Kathryn paused taking her time to glance across at her first officer and then her security chief. Chakotay nodded, the grin on his face telling her that his judgement had been clouded by the news of a Starfleet vessel capable of reaching them in the delta quadrant, so she turned to Tuvok, who raised his eyebrow as if to say that although he did not trust this unknown vessel, he could think of no reason not to accommodate them.

"I will tell the doctor to expect a new patient," she agreed.

Once the doctor had informed her of the successful transport of an unconscious but stable human male into his sickbay, and Tuvok and Tom had both confirmed the procedures for the landing of the USS Falcon, Kathryn turned to Chakotay, "I suppose we should go to the shuttle bay to great our new guest," finally she allowed a small smile to consume her face.

Chakotay grinned back as he stood from his chair, but before he could say anything Tom spoke up, "Captain, maybe I should come with you… it may help to have a fellow pilot greet our new visitor."

Kathryn exchanged a glance with her first officer; they both realised that Tom was just wanting a first look-in at the new ship, and both grinned amusedly at how little he did to hide it. "I think your presence would be better suited in sick bay," Kathryn said evenly, feeling like she was stealing sweets from a small child as she said it.

His expression fell, "I'll be on stand by if the doctor should call me."

She looked back at Chakotay as if to ask if she was being a little too harsh, in the same way that two parents would seek assurances from each other that what they were doing was in the best interest of their child. To her vague annoyance he shrugged neutrally and she felt instantly guilty. "Perhaps it would be prudent though to have a medical officer at hand should the pilot have any injuries that she has not disclosed."

Tom leapt from his seat before she had even finished her sentence, and was at the turbo lift doors almost before Kathryn and Chakotay. "It's decisions like this that make you such a great Captain," he grinned cheekily.

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Tuvok, you have the bridge," she instructed as the three of them stepped into the lift.

V

From a small control room that overlooked the large shuttle bay they watched through the observation windows as the elegant black shuttle glided through the invisible force field and landed gracefully on the deck, its landing struts barely making a sound as it came down swiftly and softly. Voyager's two COs and helmsman were just making their way down the steps into the main shuttle bay as the large back panel of the shuttle came away and bent at its hinges to make a ramp.

A figure stepped from the vessel and turned to where they were walking towards her. She was slim, but not tall, although the heels of her boots gave the illusion of some height. She wore a close fitting grey and black uniform, although not unlike the new uniforms Starfleet had issued, this variation of the design had been made with pilots in mind, the thin and lightweight material ideal to allow a pilot maximum manoeuvrability during flight, whilst still maintaining a very unfashionable and neutral tone.

Her blond hair was pulled tightly against the back of her head and her blue eyes glanced over them as they approached. Chakotay frowned as he stopped only feet away from her, sure that he recognised the woman from somewhere, for a moment he considered that Kathryn was thinking the same thing as he noticed she wore a similar expression on her own face.

"Welcome aboard," Kathryn pulled a welcoming smile, "I'm captain Janeway. This is my first officer Chakotay and my helmsman lieutenant Tom Paris," Kathryn pointed out each man, who in turn nodded courteously.

The young woman hesitated a moment before shaking hands with Voyager's captain, "cadet Artuso," she confirmed, as up until this point they had only made audio contact, both women felt it was necessary to make formal introductions, "my co-pilot in sickbay is lieutenant James Ashton..."

"You're a cadet?" Tom blurted out with surprise before either of his COs had a chance.

She raised an eyebrow, "I believe that is what I said."

Tom looked flabbergasted, "they're allowing cadets to test fly shuttles these days?"

Artuso looked annoyed at his disbelief, "I will graduate next year as an ensign," she said defensively, "but a lot has changed since the war…"

"So how long has Starfleet been experimenting with transwarp technology?" Chakotay quickly changed the subject.

The cadet turned to him, suddenly looking uncertain, "a while. Much of the project is classified, so I am reluctant to go into details without my co-pilot here."

"Could this technology be used on Voyager's systems?" Kathryn asked hopefully.

"Possibly," she hesitated, "how much longer will it be until Voyager establishes its daily DataStream with Earth?"

"Nineteen hours," Kathryn replied with a frown.

"If my co-pilot has not regained consciousness before then I would appreciate sending a message to Starfleet to request further instructions… our test flight has not exactly gone to plan."

"I think we can make some arrangements for you."

"Until then it is probably best that I do not go into details of my mission."

"I understand," Kathryn said, although rather reluctantly with so many questions swimming around in her head. She gestured towards the shuttle bay doors, "maybe for now you would like to report to our sickbay to have the doctor check you over and to see in on your co-pilot?"

"I will do so later, however I have other priorities at this moment… my ship requires immediate repairs to prevent any further damage and degradation to systems."

"Of course," she turned to Tom, "lieutenant, will see to it that the cadet has everything she needs to get repairs underway?"

"Sure," Tom smiled and turned towards the small ship, almost in personal disbelief that he was going to be able to look inside of it.

Artuso smiled gratefully, but did not say anything, instead her eyes again drifted and focussed on Kathryn, as if scrutinising her carefully, "you recognise me, don't you?"

Kathryn paused, and Chakotay could tell she was thinking carefully about how to reply, "I do, but I'm not sure how."

"My first name is Xanthia… I believe you knew my father, Daniel Artuso."

Both men looked across at Kathryn, who suddenly looked like she had seen a ghost, "Mr Paris, commander, do you mind stepping from the shuttle bay for a moment?" her voice was so low that if there had have been even the smallest level of noise in the shuttle bay they would have missed her words completely.

Chakotay stared at his captain in astonishment at her instruction, but she refused to meet his gaze, and when he saw Tom step away he made the quick decision to follow.

"I hope you will not object to a DNA test to confirm that?" Kathryn waited until the doors had closed behind them.

"You recognise me, that should be proof enough for you."

"It will not take long for you to give a DNA sample," Kathryn insisted, uncomfortable with this complete stranger making such a claim.

The young woman's face hardened, "I only informed you of the distant connection that we share out of courtesy. Whether or not you chose to believe me is none of my concern…"

"You shouldn't have told me if you didn't expect to have to prove it," Kathryn interrupted angrily.

"Your crew doesn't know anything about me do they?" Artuso probed, "otherwise you wouldn't have sent those two officers out when I told you who I was."

"It was a long time ago," she replied defensively.

For a while Artuso simply stared across at her, "fine," she said eventually, "I will submit to a DNA test after I have finished my initial repairs… do you think you can wait a couple of hours?"

Kathryn was torn between reprimanding the cadet for her insubordination and asking her to get off the ship. With great force of will she decided to let it go, "I will post a security detail with you until both the doctor and Starfleet have confirmed your identity."

"Thank you," Artuso pulled a sarcastic smile.

Voyager's captain hesitated a moment before making her way from the shuttle bay. Tom and Chakotay were stood close by the doors, their conversation immediately stopping the moment she appeared. "Tom please ensure that cadet Artuso has the resources she needs to start her repairs, I will be assigning her a security detail and would appreciate if you do not let her out of your sight until then."

Tom nodded, and when she said nothing else and offered no form of explanation for what had just happened he realised that she was waiting for him to leave. Sensing that she was not in the mood for any of his wise-ass comments, he made his way quickly back into the shuttle bay.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay asked carefully.

"I would like you to contact the Tunaki, apologise for our delay and set a course for their system," she instructed, "I will join you on the bridge shortly, but first I'm going to sickbay to check on our other new arrival."

Before he could quiz her on what exactly was going on, she was walking away from him and soon had disappeared round the corner and out of sight. Chakotay considered going after her, but he knew better than to push her for information when she made it so obvious she wasn't in the mood for talking. Hoping that she would fill him in later he reluctantly made his way back towards the bridge.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kathryn stepped into sickbay half expecting to see the doctor rushing about in a frantic manner as he tried desperately to resuscitate his unconscious patient. Instead she found the doctor standing calmly by a bio bed talking pleasantly to the pilot as he ran a medical tricorder over him.

"Ah captain," he smiled grimly at seeing her, "please don't spend too long with my new patient, he suffered severe head trauma that will take more than a couple of days to heal to an acceptable standard."

She shot him an acknowledging look before her attention focussed on the man on the bio bed before them. The pilot regarded her as she did him; he was human, early to mid-thirties, and handsome by most standards with his dark hair and complexion and two enticing brown eyes that seemed to look right into her as their gazes clashed.

"Lieutenant Ashton I presume?" she extended her hand to him, "I'm captain Kathryn Janeway…"

"Of the USS Voyager," he finished for her with a smile, "your doctor has already explained… and I'm guessing you've already met cadet Artuso if you know who I am?"

"Briefly," she replied stiffly, but then forced herself to relax, "the cadet was rather reluctant to explain how you both ended up here, but she did mention something about transwarp technology."

Ashton glanced in the doctor's direction, "the details of my mission are classified captain, and as far as I am aware you are the only person onboard this ship with a high enough security clearance to be made aware of them."

Kathryn looked across at the doctor with an unfaltering expression, the hologram seemed to get the hint as he sighed exasperatedly and made an excuse to leave, telling his captain she could have no more than five minutes alone with the lieutenant.

Ashton checked to make sure the doctor was out of earshot before he spoke. "About six months ago a federation scouting ship came across an abandoned Borg cube, from the information we could gather, some of the Borg on board had been liberated from the collective as a result of the Ultramatrix Zero incident and had started a power struggle with the other Borg onboard. They ended up killing each other, leaving the ship defenceless on the boarders of federation space." Ashton glanced across at the EMH who was busying himself in his office, "since then Starfleet has been dismantling the cube to learn more about their technology and how to use it to our own advantage."

Kathryn frowned, "from my understanding most of Starfleet command were opposed to the idea of using Borg technology, I think some back flips were done at the news we had used it and incorporated it into Voyager's systems."

"Well, not everyone thought it was such a bad idea," he grinned, "a covert team was set up to study the Borg technology. Although it has not been done behind Starfleet's back, it has been kept very low key, as certain admirals would shut down the project in a heart beat if they found out about it."

"So they've developed transwarp technology?" she pressed.

"Not exactly," he looked momentarily awkward, "they took a note out of your book and used the Borg's own transwarp coils to create a transwarp field… and as you can see, it's worked, although I am as yet uncertain of the damage our ship suffered in the process."

"Your co-pilot is starting repairs in Voyager's shuttle bay as we speak," she informed him.

"Then hopefully we will not be bothering you here for too long."

"You do not plan to stay on Voyager?"

He paused a moment to think about his answer before he gave it, "to be honest our mission was not to contact Voyager, it was simply to make a transwarp flight, take some preliminary scans of our area and to then return to the alpha quadrant."

"So we would have had no knowledge of your test flight here?"

Ashton sighed, "adapting one small shuttle for transwarp flight was a complicated enough task in itself. Voyager's own transwarp experience resulted in the burning out of your transwarp coils, and we did not want to contact Voyager about our experiments until we had found a way to bring you back to Earth. Our only reason for setting a course for a region of space near Voyager's position was that if something went wrong at this end we would be able to contact you for assistance; however we thought the chance we would encounter any problems was so low that we need not warn you of our transwarp attempt here."

"How many transwarp coils did Starfleet manage to recover?"

"Two," Ashton answered, "the first was destroyed with the first prototype shuttle, and the second is on the vessel in your shuttle bay right now. With any luck it will still be in one piece and we will be able to re-enter transwarp in the next couple of days." Ashton went silent, but Kathryn did not interrupt as she felt he was about to add something further, "captain," he sounded cautious, "I feel I should also inform you that both cadet Artuso and myself are Starfleet Rangers."

"Rangers?" she was unable to hide the surprise from her voice. Starfleet Rangers were part of a very secretive and illusive unit within the fleet, it's main objective was to protect federation interests and ensure the safety of other officers. They were given more tactical and combat training than other Starfleet officers and often given undercover assignments, so the identity of the Rangers was kept highly classified. Often they only revealed their identities when it was absolutely necessary, so Kathryn knew Ashton would have a good motive for telling her.

"Due to the covert nature of the transwarp project, Rangers were asked to test fly the new shuttle," he started to explain, "I must request that the next time you establish a data connection with Earth that you do not inform normal channels of our presence here, not only because of the unwanted exposure it will give to the project, but also because our identities as Rangers could be uncovered."

"Is there someone specifically in Starfleet you would like me to inform of your test flight failure?"

Ashton flinched somewhat at hearing her refer to his test flight as a failure, but answered anyway, "admiral Johnson, you should be able to correspond with him over the next few days."

At that moment the doctor stepped out from his office, and both captain and lieutenant dropped out of conversation. "I hope you have all the information that you need captain, but now the lieutenant really should take some time to rest."

Kathryn nodded, "of course," she looked back across to Ashton, "I will have my first officer assign you and your co-pilot quarters on my ship for as long as you require, and hopefully with the doctor's permission you will be able to give me a full debriefing tomorrow."

"I look forward to it," Ashton smiled.

The doctor watched as his captain stepped around the bio bed and towards his office, making the smallest of movements with her head for him to follow. "Captain?" he looked confused as the door closed behind them.

She looked across to the lieutenant sitting on the bio bed who was now lying back with his hands folded on his stomach and his eyes gazing up at the ceiling. "Doctor, I am hoping that lieutenant Ashton's co-pilot, cadet Artuso will be here shortly for a check up… whilst she is here I would like you to run a DNA scan and send the results directly through to me."

"Captain, I cannot relay confidential patient information…" he stopped when she raised her hand.

"Cadet Artuso has already agreed to this."

"Am I testing for anything in particular?"

"No," she cut in quickly, and looked almost panicked for the smallest of moments, "just run the scan and send me the data."

"Okay," he said slowly.

"Thank you doctor."

"Is there anything else?"

"No, just let me know when it's ready."

V

Chakotay gave up his seat as Harry came to take over the bridge for the night crew. He looked over at the doors on the far side of the bridge that led to his captain's ready room; she had been acting oddly ever since she had met the pilots from the shuttle and had spent the past three hours locked away in her office. From his understanding the vessel that had come into their shuttle bay had been conducting a classified transwarp flight, the details of which had still not been given to him. As to why the captain had acted so strangely at meeting the cadet earlier he was still no clearer in understanding.

Tuvok stepped into the turbo lift after him, and he was quick to recognise his opportunity to pry some information from the one man who had known their captain before Voyager.

"Tuvok, has the captain ever mentioned a man named Daniel Artuso to you?"

The Vulcan raised a curious eyebrow, "why do you ask?"

Chakotay decided not to disclose all of the information to the security officer right away, knowing that he had peaked his interest and that would be his best tact for extracting all that the Vulcan knew. "His name can up earlier today," he replied.

Tuvok frowned, "and why are you not asking the captain?"

He realised he had been caught out, and gave up all pretence of a cool exterior and allowed the Vulcan to see how frustrated he was by his own lack of knowledge. "The captain has been avoiding me since his name came up."

"How _did_ his name come up?"

Chakotay realised that Tuvok was now using him as an information extraction point, but was unsure how he could gain further understanding without giving up his only advantage. "One of the pilots from the shuttle gave her name as Xanthia Artuso, she told the captain that she was this man's daughter, and since then the captain has been acting strangely."

"Xanthia Artuso?" it was the closest Chakotay had ever come to seeing the Vulcan surprised (which did nothing to quell his own interest in this topic as he realised he had stumbled across something that went a lot deeper than he had initially assumed). "It is not a name I have heard in recent years… but I believe the captain was once good friends with a man named Daniel Artuso."

"Define good friends," Chakotay pressed.

Tuvok looked more than a little irritated by both the request and the commander's tone, "that is something you will have to ask the captain."

"Could you tell me why she's acting so strangely at the presence of his daughter onboard the ship?"

"Commander, I do not think that the captain would appreciate us discussing this behind her back, but suffice to say that Mr Artuso and the captain had a falling out a few years ago, and that his daughter's presence here has most probably reminded her of that time and lead to her unusual behaviour."

Chakotay looked unsatisfied with the answers he had been given, but was unable to gather any further information as the turbo lift doors opened the Tuvok stepped out, bidding him a very firm 'goodnight' before making his way down the corridor to the solitude of his own quarters. When the turbo lift doors closed to take Chakotay down to his own quarters, his mind was already racing over what little information Tuvok had given him.

V

_Day 3._

B'Elanna had been both disappointed and delighted to wake up in an empty bed. Disappointed that her husband had not been there to bid her his usual sleepy murmur of good morning, but thrilled that she could enjoy the entire bed for herself to stretch out her very pregnant form in. Now dressed for duty she made her way towards the shuttle bay before her morning shift started. As expected she found Tom already at work on a panel on the exterior of the federation vessel, his focus so concentrated that it wasn't until she was hovering over him that he noticed her presence.

"Hey honey," he smiled sweetly.

She had been intending to glare, but it quickly softened into a smile as she saw the excitement of a small boy hiding behind her husband's clear blue eyes. "I thought I'd find you here," she raised an eyebrow.

"I promised Xanthia that I'd help her start repairs this morning," he explained.

"Should I be worried?" she raised an eyebrow.

Tom sat up suddenly and wiped his greasy hands on a cloth by his side, "of Xanthia?" he looked concerned as he lowered his voice, "she's nineteen B'Elanna."

B'Elanna grinned, "not of her… of this new ship," she folded her arms, "I can handle other women, it's just when you obsess over fancy new vessels that I start to worry."

"Don't worry B'E," he smiled as he patted the shuttle bay floor beside him, "Voyager's the only ship for me."

That was enough to tweak a small laugh out of his wife, and his heart warmed instantly at seeing her in such a good mood. At that moment Xanthia made an appearance from inside the shuttle, she looked surprised when she realised that Tom was not alone, but smiled easily across at B'Elanna, "hello?"

"Xanthia, this is my wife and Voyager's chief engineer B'Elanna Torres," Tom introduced the two women as he came to his feet, "B'Elanna, cadet Artuso."

"Lieutenant Torres," her smile widened with a dazzling brilliance, "I've heard a lot about you from what Starfleet has released of Voyager… you're one of the people I've most been looking forward to meeting since I arrived here yesterday."

"Really?" B'Elanna looked confused.

"I managed to get hold of your paper on warp ten theory, and your report on the first test flight; I was hoping that you could explain to me how you managed to over come the inertial interference from flying at high warp."

"Well…" B'Elanna looked flabbergasted.

"Xanthia," a man's voice called from inside the shuttle to interrupt their conversation.

The woman snapped her head round as she remembered what she had come out for, "we're ready to start up power again," she addressed Tom, "if you want to watch the start up sequence Ashton says you should come in now," and with that she disappeared back inside the shuttle without a backwards glance.

Tom looked eagerly towards the vessel's entrance, then looked back to his wife still standing there. "Do you think you'll be free for lunch?"

She shook herself from the unusual manner in which she had been greeted, before nodding, "I always make time for lunch these days Tom," she patted her swollen abdomen.

The helmsman grinned, "I'll see you in the mess hall at thirteen hundred."

"Don't forget," she called after him, and caught his final grin as he slipped through the ship's entrance before she made her way to engineering.

V

Chakotay sat back in his chair as he stared blankly out at the view screen, every now and again his eyes glanced over to the captain's ready room where she and Tuvok had been cooped up in secretive discussion for the past sixteen and a half minutes, every additional minute that passed aggravated him further at being left out of their private loop. Finally an engineer stepped out of the turbo lift with a padd in one hand and asked him where the captain was. Recognising his opportunity Chakotay stood and took the engineering report from the crewman, offering to deliver it to the captain himself.

As he stepped into the ready room Kathryn's eyes narrowed on him, "I have the morning report from engineering," he explained.

"Was engineering unable to deliver it themselves?" she had guessed his game of trying to pry on her conversation, but Chakotay decided not to allow that to prevent him from playing it.

"They appear to be quite busy today," he shrugged, "I suspect B'Elanna is wanting to get as much work out of the way as she can before she has to go on maternity leave."

"No doubt setting an impossible standard for Vorik to compete with when he takes over," Kathryn took the padd from him and then waited for him to leave.

"I think maybe B'Elanna is worried that if Vorik does too well, you might give her position to him more permanently," he grinned as he considered whether or not he dared to take a seat along the couch with her and Tuvok.

Kathryn allowed him a small smile, "B'Elanna is irreplaceable, let her know that engineering will still be hers whenever she's ready to return to duty, maybe that will be enough to give the crew a break from the workload."

"I will," he purposefully lingered where he stood, "have you spoken to either of the pilots so far today?"

Chakotay didn't miss the quick look that his captain and their security chief exchanged, and it quickly confirmed his assumption that they had been talking about their new visitors. "I paid a visit to lieutenant Ashton in sickbay this morning, the doctor has given him the all clear."

"And cadet Artuso?" he now felt he was pushing his luck as her eyes narrowed even more closely on him.

"I believe that she is continuing repairs on her vessel with Tom."

Chakotay looked between Kathryn and Tuvok, and when neither or them said anything, and he realised he had exhausted all possible points of normal conversation he decided to let it go for the time being, and so made his way hesitantly from her ready room.

"The commander has displayed deep curiosity over the cadet and your behaviour since her arrival," Tuvok informed her the moment they were alone.

Kathryn sank back against the back rest of the sofa and let out her breath, "what do I tell him?" she asked, pinching the bridge of her nose as she closed her eyes, "what do I tell the crew?"

"At this time you need not tell the crew anything… aside from the commander, doctor and possibly lieutenant Paris you owe no one else any form of explanation. However, not saying anything or concealing the truth from them will only peak their interest."

"I can deal with the doctor and Tom, but I'm not sure how to handle Chakotay," she confessed.

Tuvok raised an eyebrow, "I would have thought you would have know best how to approach the commander?"

She sighed, "maybe a couple of years ago I would have known how to talk to Chakotay; but we're not as close as we used to be… we haven't confided in each other for a long while."

Tuvok suspected that she was making a subtle reference towards the secret liaison that was transpiring between the commander and Seven, but did not mention it. "Perhaps now would be a good time to change that?"

"Perhaps…" she trailed off, "thank you for talking with me Tuvok, sometimes I'm not sure what I'd do without you."

"Maybe you would find fewer excuses to avoid talking with commander Chakotay," he suggested.

Kathryn grinned at the Vulcan's very dry sense of humour, but said nothing further.

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Harry stopped by the entrance of the small ship before entering as he took time to straighten his jacket and push back his hair. He almost jumped back with shock as Tom Paris suddenly appeared as his side, "trying to make a good impression for our new female visitor?" the pilot said quietly so that only Harry could hear.

"For both our visitors actually," Harry corrected, only realising his error when his friend smirked and raised an eyebrow, ignoring Tom's childish sense of humour he went on, "are they here?"

"I'm not sure, I only just got back from lunch."

Together they stepped through the entrance to find both pilots working busily at their respective tasks, "lieutenant Ashton, cadet Artuso: I'm ensign Kim," he introduced himself formally.

Both looked round at him, Xanthia made an acknowledging noise before she returned her attention to her work, but Ashton stepped away from his station to shake hands with Harry. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he smiled easily and infectiously.

"Commander Chakotay thought you and the cadet may appreciate a tour of Voyager followed by lunch in the mess hall," he quickly explained his presence, not wanting them to think he had been making just any excuse to meet them; (although it had in fact been his suggestion to give the tour).

"We could do with a break actually," Ashton agreed as he glanced across on a chronometer on a display screen.

"I'm fine," they heard the muffled voice of a woman as the top half of the cadet's body was shoved in an access hole.

Ashton shot Harry an apologetic look before turning his attention to the young woman, "Xanthia, have you even slept in the past thirty hours?"

"Briefly."

"Then don't make me order you to take a break," he warned.

"Who says I'd follow your order?" she called up defiantly, slipping a little further into the opening.

Tom smirked, but quickly hid it behind the back of his hand when Harry shot him a short glare. "Don't think I won't come down and pull you out of there myself… you can't hide on this shuttle forever."

The threat of humiliation seemed enough to convince her to come out as she pulled herself from the hole and threw down the tools she had been working with. "I'm not hiding," she replied adamantly, "I just want to get this shuttle fixed as soon as possible."

"Well if we can't get the transwarp coil working again a few hull fractures won't make a difference," he pointed out.

She rolled her eyes before training them on Harry, "let's get this tour over and done with then."

Harry was quick to realise that the tour had been a mistake when everyone they passed stopped to either gawp or talk to the two pilots, asking them questions from whether or not they were going to be able to take Voyager back to earth to what the weather was like in San Francisco. Both Xanthia and Ashton took the attention in their stride, giving answers when they could, or letting the crew know as gently as possible that they were not there on a rescue mission but in fact just testing out some new technology. The crew seemed disappointed as their hopes were lowered, but Ashton assured them that Voyager had not been forgotten, and it would only be a matter of time before a full scale rescue mission was launched.

After only half an hour he had shown them most major areas of the ship when they arrived at the mess hall for lunch. As they collected trays of food cooked by the new Bolian chef, Harry was again reminded of the absent Neelix who had settled to make a new life for himself with a colony of Telaxians. The morale officer had always been so good at dealing with visitors to Voyager, and probably would have been a much better host than Harry, but before he could dwell on such thoughts they were interrupted by the arrival of Seven at their table.

"Ensign Kim," she concentrated her attention on Harry; although just as curious as the rest of the crew in the mess hall about the two new visitors, she was determined not to join in with their staring and whispering. "We will be establishing communications with Starfleet in precisely sixty three minutes, I was hoping that you could spare some time to assist with the new deflector calibrations."

"Of course, I should be finished entertaining the lieutenant and cadet shortly," he indicated the two people seated opposite him.

Seven turned to greet them, her eyes quickly dancing over Ashton but when she looked over to Xanthia she frowned and her gaze rested on the younger woman much longer than was necessary. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you both," she said, forcing her eyes from the cadet with a conscious effort.

Harry had noticed Seven's lingering look on the cadet, and although couldn't explain it, he could understand why; it wasn't the fact that the cadet was dazzlingly beautiful that he himself caught himself gazing her a little longer that was appropriate every now and again, but there was something about her… something inexplicably familiar about appearance, that caused him to study her whenever he was sure she wasn't looking.

"I understand that you are test pilots for the first Starfleet transwarp vessel?" Seven had finally recovered from her brief lapse in composure and had now moved on to her usual form of conversation, that always felt a little like an interrogation.

Ashton shrugged, "technically I think Voyager was the first transwarp ship in the fleet."

Seven raised an eyebrow as she considered his words, "I suppose you are right." Realising that she did not have the time to get into a long discussion about transwarp technology, or any other topic for that matter, she turned back to Harry, "I will be in astrometrics when you are ready."

He watched as she walked away before again addressing the two pilots, "I was thinking we could finish the tour with the bridge before you return to the shuttle bay?"

"That sounds perfect," Ashton agreed, "I'm expected to give the captain a full debriefing soon anyway."

Harry quickly checked that they had finished eating "I guess we should get going then."

"Actually," Xanthia said as they stood, "I would prefer to return to the shuttle bay now."

"I think you're expected at the debriefing," Ashton reminded her.

"I don't think there's anything I would be able to offer there that you cannot yourself," she countered.

Unable to disprove her logic the lieutenant shrugged, and Harry agreed to show her back to the shuttle bay before they went up to the bridge.

V

As Chakotay stepped into astrometrics the debriefing he had just attended was still playing through his mind. Due to the classified nature of the meeting, Kathryn had restricted attendance to only himself and Tuvok. Ashton repeated mostly what he had privately discussed with the captain the day before, and the four of them went on to decide what information to pass on to the rest of the crew and to Starfleet. In the end they agreed not to tell the crew about the Borg transwarp coil, but merely to insinuate that Starfleet was in the process of developing its own transwarp technology. After much insistence from the pilot it was decided that they would only contact Starfleet Rangers and Intelligence to inform them about the problems with the test flight.

Although Ashton was fairly certain his shuttle would again be fully space worthy and operational by the same time the next day, he was uncertain whether or not the damage to the transwarp coil was reparable. This led to the conclusion that all senior officers would need to be informed about the true nature of the transwarp test flight, as their expertise (particularly Seven and B'Elanna's) would undoubtedly be required to assess the damage.

"Can I help you commander?" Seven's voice broke him from his thoughts.

About to question her formal tone he noticed Icheb working at a station in the corner, "I was wondering whether you'd finished your report."

She raised an eyebrow, "has captain Janeway been asking for it?"

"Not exactly," he was quick to reassure her, then came closer and lowered his voice, "I just wanted an excuse to come down here and see you."

Seven allowed him a small smirk, keeping half an eye on Icheb to ensure he had not overheard, "that was very… thoughtful."

Chakotay smiled, "are you free tonight? I have the perfect holoprogram for our tenth date."

"Unfortunately it will have to wait," she apologised, "I promised to spend time with Naomi Wildman."

Any other person than Naomi and he might have asked her to get out of it, instead he sighed and leant back against a console, "tomorrow night?"

"I believe I am free from nineteen hundred hours," she agreed.

"It's a date then," he purposefully used the old Earth phrase, which had the desired result of squeezing another smile from her usually neutral expression.

Sensing that he was about to leave Seven called him back, "Chakotay, I was wondering if I could ask you something."

He paused in his movement to walk off and settled back against the console, "sure."

Seven turned to him, taking her eyes completely from her work, "is cadet Artuso a relation of captain Janeway's?"

"No," Chakotay answered quickly, then frowned, "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"I met the cadet earlier today and noticed she shares a great resemblance with the captain… I thought perhaps they were related."

Chakotay shook his head, "I'm sure the captain would have mentioned if she was," but even as he said the words he started to doubt them, realising for himself that his impression of having already met the cadet when he had first seen her could have been due to the fact that she had looked so much like Kathryn.

"You're right," Seven nodded, "there are other explanations for phenotypic resemblance."

He frowned, "such as?"

The former Borg paused before answering, "they could be unaware that they are related."

Chakotay was half hoping that she would offer an explanation other than the idea that they were related in some way, but a blood connection did make the most sense, and it also went some way to explain Kathryn's behaviour over the arrival over the cadet. "Seven, if you had to hazard a guess to how they were related, what would you say?" he probed carefully, not wanting to reveal the truth of why he was asking.

"If I was unaware that the captain didn't have any children, I would say cadet Artuso was her daughter… however she is most probably captain Janeway's cousin, niece, or perhaps half sister." Seven seemed unsettled by his silence once she had finished speaking, "Chakotay?"

He appeared to snap himself back into reality and forced a small smile, "maybe they're cousins," he shrugged, "I have a couple of cousins that I've never met before, and I wouldn't know them even if they were standing right in front of me."

Seven nodded, and soon found herself bidding him goodbye as he left astrometrics.

V

Xanthia lay sprawled out across the bed in the quarters she had been assigned on Voyager. Normally someone of her lack of rank would have been given much smaller quarters, or asked to share with another crewman, but as a guest on the ship she had the luxury of the much larger space to herself. When she heard the familiar entry request at the door, she assumed it would be Ashton and so remained in her relaxed position, keeping her eyes on the padd she was reading as she granted permission for entry.

"I hope I'm not interrupting."

Her head snapped up at the sound of a woman's voice, "captain," she said, startled, quickly moving from her bed to stand, "I wasn't expecting… you."

Kathryn felt her stomach knot, a sensation she rarely came across these days as she never allowed nerves to get the better of her, "is this a bad time?"

The younger woman shrugged, "is there a good time for this conversation?"

"I guess not," Kathryn remained standing hesitantly by the door, part of her wanting to just walk away, another part telling her that she had to get this over and done with. "May I come in?" Xanthia indicated the couch and so she crossed the threshold into the quarters.

As Kathryn sat down she noticed that Xanthia chose to remain standing, resting against the back of the dining table as she waited patiently for Kathryn to talk. "I'm not really sure where to start," she confessed, "you're the last person I ever expected to meet when we received a federation distress signal."

"I didn't intend to transmit that, the computer initiated the distress signal the moment we dropped out of transwarp… I cut it off as soon as I realised."

"I'm not criticising your presence here, I'm just explaining my surprise," Kathryn reassured her.

"I wasn't apologising for being here," Xanthia looked irritated at the assumption that she may have been, "this is the last place I want to be right now."

Kathryn pinched the bridge of her nose, realising that this conversation was getting them no where. "Well you're here now, and we need to decide how we're going to deal with this."

"How _we're_ going to deal with this?" the younger woman folded her arms. "If you're worried that the crew will find out about me, you don't have to worry about me telling them."

"That's not what I meant," she said calmly, determined not to react to what Xanthia had just said, "I intend to tell the crew that you are my daughter, but my concern at the moment is how we should behave towards one another during your stay on Voyager."

"You don't think that I can behave in a professional manner towards you in front of your crew?"

"I'm hoping that you can," Kathryn confessed

"I wouldn't know how else to behave other than with professional courtesy," Xanthia reassured her, "we are nothing more than strangers to each other, and all we have in common is Starfleet."

Kathryn studied the woman across from her, unable to shake a sadness that over came her at hearing those words, "I'm sorry it's turned out this way." Xanthia made no response and in the silence that followed Kathryn felt she should offer up some form of explanation, "I did try to see you."

"You _tried_?" Xanthia shot her a hateful expression.

"It was difficult," she insisted, "Dan was always moving around, and I was very often on assignment…"

"When I was twelve my father insisted that I accompany him for your memorial service," Kathryn was cut off, "it took the transport thirty eight minutes to travel from our house to the service five minutes walk away from your house in San Francisco. We had been living at that same address for two years, I'm sorry that that was too much effort for you."

Unsure she knew how to defend herself, or that any defence she gave would be acknowledged Kathryn decided to leave, "I'm not sure how I could ever make that up to you," she said as she stood.

Xanthia shrugged, "I haven't had a mother for a long time and I can't say I've missed not having one, so please don't feel that you have to make up for anything."

Kathryn nodded, and with nothing further to say she left.

V

Keeping busy was a tactic Kathryn often used when she felt her usual cool demeanour and control slipping away from her. Sometimes she used her work to hide herself from the guilt that came with the many difficult bad decisions she had made in her life; stranding Voyager sometimes only seemed like the tip of the iceberg. Other times she kept her mind distracted to prevent it from lingering on painful memories, memories that haunted her still to this day. Grief, worry and fear were emotions she felt no captain should entertain, and her tactic so often worked to block them out, today however, her carefully balanced control was starting to slip.

She pushed her work aside and collapsed back against the couch in her quarters, closing her eyes as she covered them with her forearm. Whether or not she would have quickly pulled herself back together at that point, or given into the strong urge to scream at the top of her lungs, she never would have found out as she was disrupted by the sound of someone at the door. Taking time to force herself to relax, to pull on her command mask in order to conceal from her visitor her current torment, she walked up to the door and opened it.

Chakotay took in her dishevelled appearance; it was obvious that she hadn't slept much the previous night and the lack of sleep was now starting to show at this late hour. She said his name with surprise, although he was uncertain who else she could have been expecting as he knew he was one of the few people who dared to disturb her at her quarters. She remained standing in the doorway, obviously not wanting to invite him in as she purposefully blocked the entrance, and although the signs were obvious that the last thing she wanted to do was to talk to him, he was determined that they should speak.

"Can I come in?" his voice was soft and displayed his concern for her.

"It's late Chakotay, can this not wait until tomorrow?"

She refused to meet his gaze, but his lay unwavering on her, "it probably could, but I'd rather talk to you now."

Finally she looked up at him, her tired blue eyes matching his deep brown, hers asking him to leave, his, to let him in.

"She's your daughter," he stated, not sure how he knew with such certainty, only knowing that this was the truth.

Her expression hardened, "this_can_ wait until tomorrow." She reached out to the panel at the side of the door with the intention of closing it on him, but as her guard was let down he forced himself through the entrance and into her quarters.

Kathryn opened her mouth to object to his intrusion, but he spoke before she'd even had the chance, "why didn't you tell me?" he demanded, the hurt evident in his soft voice.

"Whatever you think you know Chakotay I can assure you that you don't." After one draining confrontation that day, she was unsure she could handle another one, "please, can we just leave this until tomorrow?"

"So that you can come up with more excuses to avoid me?" he folded his arms, "we're doing this now."

Her exhausted expression quickly turned into a glare that dared him not to leave, but he remained rooted exactly where he stood. Realising that she wasn't going to be able to get rid of him any time soon she took her eyes from him and crossed her quarters to the couch where she had previously been. But instead of sitting down, she stood with her back to him as she gazed out of the view port, watching the blurred stars as they glided through space.

Just as the long stretch of silence felt as if it would break them both, she finally spoke. "You're right, cadet Artuso is my biological daughter."

"What happened?" his voice was barely more than a whisper, and she felt him close the gap from behind her.

Kathryn closed her eyes as the memory of her conversation with Xanthia only a few short hours ago threatened to overwhelm her, "life happened," she felt his hand on her shoulder, his touch almost enough to break her resolve. "I have made some mistakes in my life Chakotay… but this is one I have no idea where to even start to fix."

He didn't say anything, and for a long moment they simply stood together in silence, staring out the view port. The moment her shoulders sagged and she took her hand to her face, he knew she had lost her last remaining strands of control and instinctively he turned her to face him, pulling her now fragile form into his arms. This was not the first time he had comforted her as she cried, but it was the first time in a long while that she had let her guard down around him. Their once close friendship had become more and more distant over the past couple of years, and he struggled to remember a time in the past year that they had talked honestly. He wasn't sure if the drift was natural, or forced on her part, all he knew was that he missed what they had had terribly.

The longer he held her, the worse she seemed to get; the comforting hand he had intended to provide her the strength to carry on with her story had caused her to lose all strength to go on. He had come to her quarters in the hope she would open up to him, but despite their close physical connection, he now felt they had never been more further apart. And then he made his final mistake for that night as he took her chin between his finger tips and tilted her face up to him. Tears cascaded silently down her cheeks and she looked confused by his actions, then realisation seemed to strike and although her eyes begged him not to, he lowered his lips to hers.

She kissed him back, he had known she would; it had not been the first time he had kissed her, or the first time she had responded. They had first made love on new Earth, and when Voyager had returned for them he had promised to let that be the end of it. She didn't have to explain to him that it was not protocol or a lack of personal feelings towards him that prevented them being together, but more so the fact that their crew required them both to be professional and dependable, and for them to indulge in a more intimate relationship would endanger that. So she offered him friendship, and he had eagerly accepted it.

What they were both quick to learn was that she was unable to say no to him. She would ask with her eyes for him to back off when they found themselves in the wrong moment together. When she felt they were again becoming too close she would avoid him until their barriers had re-established. But never had she refused him with any great force. About a year after new Earth he had tested the boundaries of their relationship and to his surprise found that they quickly melted away the moment he pushed her. It was only as she had cried in his bed later that night he realised his mistake and instantly regretted it; in this relationship she was the weak one, and despite his feelings for her he came to understand that she required him to be strong in order to maintain their delicate balance.

Now he found himself doing it again; taking advantage of her when her resolve was at its thinnest. He knew that he wouldn't even have to ask and she would willingly take him into her bed, but he knew that those moments of passion where she would submit herself completely to him would damage her beyond anything else he could do to her. With great control he pulled back from her, his mouth hung open to apologise, but no words came out. She turned her head away from him, he knew she felt ashamed for at her inability not to react, but he couldn't think of the right words to tell her it was his own fault.

In the only decent moment he had had with her that night he pressed his lips to her forehead, an affectionate gesture that came to him impulsively. "What ever it is," he spoke so softly she had to strain to hear him, "I'm here for you."

As she refused to meet his gaze and seemed more interested in looking at the carpet than at him he dropped his arms from around her and stepped away, leaving her quarters without daring to look back.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N

Sorry I've taken so long to update, work has been getting in the way for a while but the fourth chapter is finally here! Thanks to Lee for all the work she has done so far as my beta, and thanks also to everyone who has been reviewing, your comments have kept me inspired and writing!

Chapter 4

_Day 4_

Voyager had arrived at the Tunaki trading station early that night, Tom who had been in command of the bridge at that time now yawned tiredly as he sat at the briefing table listening to Ashton inform the rest of the senior officers of the Borg transwarp coil. Although Tom had been working with the two pilots on repairing their ship, they had kept him away from the transwarp technology, he now understood why, as Starfleet finding out that a secret project had been set up to tamper with Borg technology wouldn't go down very well amongst most of the admiralty.

Although most of the table were focussing their attention on the two major topics for the briefing, the transwarp vessel and then the Tunaki trading station, Tom was far more curious at what was playing out between the commanding officers. They had been avoiding direct eye contact for the entire briefing, they had even looked uncomfortable sitting so close to each other, and it was with no surprise when he saw Kathryn move out from her seat at the earliest opportunity to stand by one of the display screens. When she had eventually been forced to address Chakotay he was certain he wasn't the only one that felt the tension in the room suddenly rise several notches.

He could tell they had had an argument, he suspected most people around the table could also. They always did well to conceal their personal disagreements, but those that saw them together most, such as those on the bridge, were able to pick up on changes in their behaviour that signalled a falling out. The stiffness in which they addressed each other was subtle, but the lack of easy conversation and friendly banter was much more obvious. Kathryn would spend more time than usual in her office, retreating there much more frequently and Chakotay's normal relaxed and agreeable manner would falter, occasionally causing him to snap at people who caught him at the wrong moment.

Sometimes their disagreements would last a few hours, sometimes a few days, but they always came to reconciliation; it was one of the things that made them such a great command team. Although Tom knew with some certainty that they would eventually kiss and make up (whether metaphorically or literally had long since lost the interest of the Voyager gossip vine) Tom was unsure what their latest argument had been about. Usually he had some inkling, but with Voyager out of the path of any danger, and no recent crew upsets he knew it wasn't ship business. Which left the subject matter of something more personal; however this was where Tom's powers of deduction hit a very large brick wall, as what went on between the captain and commander behind closed doors was anyone's guess and no one's business but their own.

About to resign himself to the fact he may never know, he was surprised to find that the captain didn't immediately disband the room when they had finished the last topic for the morning briefing. "There is one last thing I would like to mention before we finish," Kathryn glanced across at Chakotay to see his clouded expression begin to clear, "some people have already become aware of the personal connection between myself and cadet Artuso, so I thought now would be a good time to inform those of you who don't already know.

"Xanthia Artuso is my biological daughter," she said, unable to avoid the surprised faces around her, she settled on Tuvok as he already knew and gave her the supportive nod she needed to continue. "She and I have been estranged for a long time which is why I have neglected to mention this, but now that you know I would ask that you continue to treat her as you would any other guest aboard Voyager. Although I don't expect this information to be kept from the rest of the ship, I do hope that you can ensure the cadet is not unnecessarily bothered by the crew because of her connection to me."

"I have asked cadet Artuso to report any undue attention directly to myself," Tuvok spoke up, "I will be dealing with anyone responsible, personally."

Kathryn finally dared one final look around the table, silently praying that no one was going to ask any questions, her gazed rested briefly on Tom Paris, who she felt was most likely to say anything, but he seemed too stunned by her first statement to make a response. "You're dismissed," she said finally.

Everyone in the room started to file out, Tom noticed that Tuvok remained behind with the captain but to his further astonishment Chakotay got up to leave. "I didn't see that one coming," he muttered in B'Elanna's ear as they stepped out into the bridge.

His wife nodded absently, "me neither."

Although they were speaking in hushed tones they were both very aware of Chakotay's close proximity to them, so it wasn't until they found themselves alone in the turbo lift that they continued with their conversation.

"Now I think about it," Tom said thoughtfully when they had both given the computer their desired destinations, "Xanthia does look freakishly like Janeway… except blond. I swear she gave Ashton the trademark 'Janeway death glare' yesterday, I just can't believe I didn't work this out for myself."

"That must be why the captain and commander have fallen out," she suggested, indicating that she had been wondering the same thing as he had throughout the morning briefing. "I don't think Chakotay knew either; and he's closer to the captain than any of us."

Tom frowned, remembering Chakotay's reaction to the news and realising that he must have already known. "I think he did B'E; that wasn't the look of a surprised man at the table when the captain told us."

"No Tom," she sighed exasperatedly, sometimes her husband could be so dense, "I don't think he knew until shortly before the briefing."

Her theory made sense, but without asking Chakotay directly they would probably never know, and Tom wasn't going to be the one to talk to the commander; however far they had come in settling their differences over the years, any conversation concerning the captain was still off limits for almost everyone on board. "I think you could be right," he agreed, not knowing at that time how right his wife had been.

The Tunaki trading station looked more like the biospheres on Earth's moon than the dismal cramped halls and rooms Chakotay had been expecting. The atriums they were led through were filled with various alien plants, all feeding from the artificial sunlight above them. The main trading area was reminiscent of an old Earth market, with stalls set up and shops lining the walls around them. Kathryn and Chakotay were accompanied by a Tunaki guide who took them to where they could obtain the supplies Voyager required, he was useful in the negotiations, but after a while his droning voice and irritating behaviour started to get on both their nerves.

They were there a good two hours before they found themselves alone. Their guide had gone to find the station chief to discuss some of the more illusive items on their supply list, and left them in a deserted waiting room. Although both glad to be rid of him, they quickly came to realise the guide had acted as a good buffer for the lack of conversation between them; now the silence was becoming obvious and uncomfortable.

Chakotay sat in one of the many chairs, drumming his fingers occasionally on the arm rest, he glanced over at Kathryn who was stood with her back to him as she gazed through the station window down at the solar system they were slowly orbiting. "I hear the beaches on the smallest continent of the fifth planet are good this time of year," he said when he thought the silence may just become the end of him.

She was a while in responding, "planning on heading down there for your shore leave?"

"Maybe," he said, grateful to be filling the quiet void, "how about yourself, made any plans?"

Kathryn turned her head slightly so that he could see her profile, "I was hoping to take advantage of the natural spas on the prime planet… but I'm not sure I'll have the time now."

There was no need for her to mention that the arrival of the transwarp shuttle was what had thrown her plans, and again the silence overwhelmed them as they slipped off into their own thoughts. "I think there's a spa on the station," he offered after another painful stretch of time had passed them by.

She nodded, but said nothing further. She sat herself down in a chair on the opposite side of the room to him and glanced anxiously at the alien chronometer in order to gain some idea of how long they had been there. Chakotay felt that avoiding the subject was getting them nowhere, and decided to carefully broach it with her, "why did you never tell me you had a daughter Kathryn?"

Slowly she turned to face him, if she was surprised or annoyed by his question she didn't show it, but he did sense some reluctance to answer him. "Because I don't consider myself to be a mother," she answered as truthfully as she could.

"I don't understand," he confessed, he didn't want to push the subject with her, seeing first hand the night before how it was effecting her, but as her friend he felt he had some right to know the truth.

Kathryn sighed, this wasn't the time or place for such a conversation, but she was unsure how she could avoid it. "Until two days ago I hadn't seen my daughter for thirteen years," she confessed, "Xanthia was six years old when I last saw her, and although I would like to say that my absence from her life since then had been entirely due to factors outside of my control, the truth is, before I stranded Voyager in the delta quadrant I hadn't made much of an effort to be a part of her life."

"Why not?" Chakotay frowned, he had initially thought that perhaps Kathryn had given up her daughter for adoption as a baby, this new information completely threw him.

She shrugged, "I had a messy divorce from the man who I had been married to…"

"Daniel Artuso?" he interjected, remembering the name from when they had first met the cadet.

Kathryn nodded to confirm his assumption, "he got custody of Xanthia, and soon after I was given my first command assignment. I had thought I would stay in regular contact with my daughter during those twelve months in space… but I guess it didn't work out as I had planned. When I returned to Earth I saw Xanthia briefly, but by then we had more or less become strangers, so when she and my ex-husband moved away from the solar system I didn't make any effort to keep in contact."

"That must have been difficult," Chakotay said quietly.

She nodded, but unlike the previous night she seemed much more in control of her emotions, "it got easier with time," she admitted. "I stopped talking about her because it only raised uncomfortable questions, I took down her pictures when they became out of date, I boxed up her things when the reminders became too painful… and before I knew it I had erased her from my life."

"Did Mark know about her?" he knew he was pushing it, but she seemed willing to talk and he wanted to make the most of his opportunity.

A reminiscent smile lingered on her face, "Mark and I became friends whilst I was pregnant… he was there throughout my marriage and divorce and became quite fond of Xanthia."

Chakotay relaxed back into his chair, allowing his mind time to process all of this new information. However close he and Kathryn had been, or however well he had thought he had known her, every now and again something new was thrown in their path to make him think otherwise, causing him to question how many other secrets she was keeping from him. Although he felt disappointed she felt unable to confide in him completely, he couldn't criticise her, knowing that he himself had secrets that he had never entrusted in her.

"How's Xanthia taking all of this?"

Kathryn looked surprised at her first officer's sudden concern for a woman who he had had no knowledge of several days before. "Well, I guess; the doctor gave her a clean bill of health, she seems to be getting on with everyone she works with, I haven't heard anyone voice any worries over her. I think her and Ashton are confident they'll be on their way back to Earth in the next couple of days, so she's probably not yet considered the possibility that they could end up on Voyager a little longer than expected."

Chakotay folded her arms, "that's not what I meant."

"I know," Kathryn closed her eyes and let out a long breath, "I think she's taking this better than I am. I spoke with her briefly yesterday and to be honest she just seems angry at me."

"For what?"

"For leaving her… she was too young to understand at the time, and I'm doubtful my ex-husband has done me any favours in explaining it all to her."

"I guess now you have the opportunity to explain it all yourself," Chakotay suggested.

Kathryn was doubtful, "this isn't exactly a happy reunion, she doesn't want to talk to me, and I'm not sure I have answers to all her questions. I think the best outcome I can hope for is that we can behave in a professional manner for the duration of her stay on Voyager."

"And if the transwarp coil is irreparable?"

Kathryn sighed, "we'll cross that bridge if we come to it."

V

In the lab area of engineering B'Elanna found herself working on the transwarp coil. As Seven looked over the readings from some of the tests they had conducted, Harry made minor adjustments to the coil and Xanthia typed in the commands for the next test they were preparing to run. The chief engineer found her gaze drifting to the young woman who only that morning had been revealed to them all as the captain's daughter. Although at first the news had had little effect on her, B'Elanna now found herself feeling somewhat envious of the cadet, much in the same way that she had been jealous of Seven's presence aboard Voyager.

Since the first few days she had spent on Voyager, even before she had been made chief engineer, she realised that there was something very different about captain Janeway to any other Starfleet captain she had previously encountered. Over time B'Elanna had come to admire and respect her, and cherished the bond that formed between them as Kathryn became less of a captain and more a friend, perhaps even a mother figure to her. B'Elanna had instantly grown to resent Seven's arrival on Voyager, not just because of her arrogant manner and undermining tone, but also because of the attention she received from Janeway and the bond that started to develop between them. She suspected Chakotay had also felt the same way about Seven, although for different reasons, but he would never have confided that in her if he had.

B'Elanna noticed the different manner in which Harry was now addressing Xanthia and knew that he was probably feeling the same way that she did. Kathryn treated many of the crew as if they were part of her own family, putting the happiness of every member of the crew above her own and going to extreme lengths to ensure all their safety. People often made jokes about Chakotay being the agony uncle of the ship as he would sit and listen to all their problems and advise them as best he could, but Janeway was most definitely the mother. To now learn that she had a grown up child of her own somehow made Harry and B'Elanna feel less like an extended part of their captain's family.

"So where did you grow up?" Harry asked as they all worked individually.

Xanthia raised an eyebrow, "I thought you weren't meant to be asking me personal questions."

B'Elanna had to give the operations officer points for trying to fish for information, but the prize went to the cadet for picking up on it so quickly. "I…" Harry stammered, "I didn't mean to-"

The young woman smiled warmly, instantly causing him to relax, "if you must know, I grew up all over the quadrant, but I've spent almost half my life on Earth."

"Whereabouts?"

She shrugged, "everywhere. Nice, San Francisco, Gibraltar, Dubai, Calcutta, Queensland, Indiana and Oxford are some of the more memorable places I can remember."

"How come you moved around so much?" Harry asked automatically.

"My dad's job required us to move around a lot," she shrugged.

"Oh?" B'Elanna saw a good opportunity to pry more information, "what does he do?"

Xanthia seemed surprised to find the chief engineer join the conversation, but answered regardless, "he's a world renowned professional thief, wanted in over thirty planets for the mysterious disappearance of precious stones and artefacts and the death of two men caught in an accidental explosion. We had to move around to escape the authorities, with each new town my dad would have a new face but he'd buy me a new pony to make up for the move. Eventually the police realised they could use me to help track my father, so at sixteen he left me at a boarding school and I haven't seen him since. Now the only correspondence we have is through anonymous ads we leave for each other in the New York Times, but once we've laid low long enough we should be able to meet up."

"Really?" Harry's eyes had widened, and B'Elanna rolled her eyes at his obvious naivety.

"No," Xanthia started to laugh, "Tom told me you were gullible, he said this would be fun."

B'Elanna sniggered, deciding at that moment maybe she was going to enjoy having Xanthia onboard after all. "I'm sure Harry once believed Tom that the word gullible had been removed from the dictionary," she informed the cadet.

"That's a lie," Harry looked annoyed that now even the new visitor to Voyager was joining Tom's crusade to exploit his easily trusting manner.

"I'm sorry," Xanthia was genuinely apologetic, "but seriously, my dad's just a boring lawyer, we move around a lot because he doesn't like to stay in one place for too long."

"Cadet Artuso, what do you know about the Borg vessel this transwarp coil was taken from?" Seven interrupted their friendly chit-chat with her stern and professional tone.

The cadet was momentarily thrown off with the sudden topic change, but quickly re-established a professional stance, "I'm not a big expert of Borg ships, aren't they all the same?"

"No," Seven was annoyed by the assumption, and wasn't afraid to show it, "I believe that this coil was taken from a survey cube."

"A survey cube?" Harry was first to get in with the question.

"They are ships specifically designed to scan the boarders of known space, they ensure that Borg navigational maps are kept up to date, and make observations of warp capable societies for any technology that may be of interest to the Borg," she explained.

B'Elanna frowned, "what's the significance of this?"

Seven seemed irritated that she had to explain, but did so anyway, "the survey cubes spend most of their time in transwarp, the coils they use although much more complex, are also more efficient and durable."

"So?" B'Elanna pressed.

"I believe that this coil can be repaired," she reassured them all, "but if integrated to Voyager's systems it may also be sufficient to take Voyager roughly twenty thousand light years closer to Earth."

"Twenty thousand light years," Harry repeated in awe.

"I thought a ship of Voyager's size would require at least two or three transwarp coils," Xanthia pointed out.

"Normally it would if taken from a standard Borg vessel, but survey cubes are often technologically superior, in this case one transwarp coil would suffice."

B'Elanna and Harry glanced at each other before looking at Xanthia, if they used the transwarp coil it could take Voyager significantly closer to Earth, but it would still leave them almost decade away from the planet, leaving Ashton and Xanthia stranded on Voyager for the remainder of the journey, it was a sacrifice they had no right to ask. "I'll talk to lieutenant Ashton," Xanthia's voice was heavy as she too realised the consequences of any decision that they now made.

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chakotay delicately clutched his stomach as he felt another wave of nausea pass over him, and was instantly grateful when this time nothing came up. "And you're sure the captain ate all the same things that you did?" the doctor asked as he scanned the commander.

"I think so," his mind went back to the lunch that had been put on for them after they had spoken to the station chief. A large buffet had been laid out on a central table, and he and Kathryn had selected some of the less peculiar looking items on offer to eat. Two hours later and Chakotay was regretting not only having eaten anything at all, but also that Kathryn had had to see him throw up.

"Then perhaps we'll see the captain in here shortly," his voice sounded far too peppy, as if he was actually looking forward to the captain's visit.

"Maybe," Chakotay struggled to repress the urge for his stomach to contract and took a deep breath, "is there something you can do about this?"

The doctor sighed, "as a matter of fact, yes, but you know I have half a mind to let you suffer. It might give you the incentive to scan your food in future before you consume it."

Chakotay shot the doctor a hateful expression, silently promising to decompile the hologram's program if he did not receive treatment immediately. He was relieved when the doctor lifted a hypospray to his neck and injected the medication. "This will take about half an hour to take full effect, I suggest you lie down and try to relax."

"Lying down won't be a problem," he said as he slipped slowly onto his side to lay across the bio bed, "but I don't think I'll be able to relax."

The doctor nodded sympathetically, "you should be able to keep water down now, but I suggest you avoid eating too much for at least the next three hours."

"I can't even think about food right now. I don't want to eat anything ever again."

The doctor offered him a tight smile, but added nothing further.

"So I suppose you already knew that cadet Artuso was the captain's daughter," the doctor spoke up from a near by console that he was busy working at.

Chakotay, who had been attempting meditation whilst he waited for his stomach to settle made a neutral grunt and allowed for the doctor to make his own assumption. "Did you?"

"Well," he hesitated, "the captain asked me to run a DNA scan and send the results through to her… when the cadet first came into sickbay I noticed the resemblance to captain Janeway and compared their DNA…"

"She wanted a DNA scan? What for?"

The EMH shrugged, "to confirm that it was her daughter and not some impostor I suppose."

Chakotay accepted the explanation, the entire crew were now vigilant about such things after they had been fooled on so many occasions. Then something occurred to him; although Kathryn had deleted most references of having a child, medically she wouldn't have been able to hide it from the doctor. "You knew that she had a child though?"

"Well of course," he said, "there were references made in her medical files, and it showed up-" he stopped himself when he realised he was breaching patient confidentiality, he cleared his throat, "but I learned very quickly not to ask the captain any details."

"What did she tell you?" he asked out of curiosity.

Assuming that Chakotay already knew the entire truth, the doctor decided that he could be lenient on this occasion with the information that he gave. "I didn't think she realised at first how in depth her medical records were," he admitted, "because she told me that she had lost both children… I quickly ruled out miscarriage as her files showed the development of two healthy babies that she carried to their full terms. When the captain refused to talk about it with me, I just assumed she meant that she had lost her children at an older age."

At hearing the doctor mention two children Chakotay sat up sharply, ignoring his stomach's bitter protest at his quick movement. "She had twins?" he asked, ignoring his again queasy stomach.

The hologram shook his head, "no, her son was born two years after Xanthia," he narrowed his eyes at the commander, "didn't you know that?"

Chakotay's eyes widened as he realised the doctor had only spoken so openly with him having made the assumption that he already knew. "Of course," he forced a smile, "it's just the way you said it, made it sound like they were twins… which confused me for a moment, because of course, they're not."

"Oh," the doctor visibly relaxed, then he looked at Voyager's first officer with an eager expression, "so maybe you could tell me what happened? The captain mentioned that she had not seen her daughter in a long while, do you know the last time we saw both her children?"

His jaw hung a little as he debated whether to make something up, or to reveal the little information Kathryn had given him earlier that day, "to be honest doctor, I don't think the captain would want me to discuss this with you."

Disappointment could be seen clearly in the doctor's face; he had obviously been in the dark about this for so many years that the thought of solving the mystery had caused him a moment's excitement. "I understand," he nodded solemnly, "you and the captain are good friends, I wouldn't want to ask you to betray her trust."

Chakotay's relief at having gotten out of the situation so easily, faded at the doctor's words. If he had have heard something similar said to him two perhaps one year ago, he would have felt pride at hearing it, of being reminded of his special relationship with Kathryn. Now he realised that not only was the doctor over estimating their relationship, but that maybe he had also been doing the same for the many years he had considered Kathryn his closest friend. Although he had been aware of the rift that had been forming between them for the past year or so, the starting of which he could trace back to roughly two years previously, he still cherished the friendship he had thought they had once had. Now there was a whole section of her life that was coming to light, a part of her life that she had never trusted him enough to tell him, and everything he had thought he'd known about her was now being thrown into question.

V

Kathryn sat at the end of the briefing table, she sipped her coffee and took her finger tips to her temple as she felt a migraine coming on. Seven and lieutenant Ashton were bickering away, having long slipped into their own private debate, the words of which had formed a buzzing in the back of her head. "Enough," she raised her voice, satisfied to see them both instantly shut up and turn to face her. "Seven, if we integrated the transwarp coil into Voyager's systems what is the maximum distance we could use it for?"

"Captain-" Ashton interrupted to begin his protest.

"Shush," she stopped him before he could speak, sometimes she felt like a teacher of a class of very badly behaved children. "You'll have your chance in a minute."

"Thank you captain," Seven spared him a sideways glance, "at best we could cover twenty two light years."

"At worst?" she pressed.

Seven looked reluctant, "the worst case scenario would be the coil burning out before we could establish a transwarp field, however this is highly improbably. The most likely scenario is that we would be able to get nineteen light years closer to Earth."

"And if the transwarp coil is integrated into the shuttle instead?"

"I believe that the shuttle would make it back to Earth in one piece, but the transwarp coil will not survive re-entry into normal space another time," Seven explained.

"Captain, I understand your desire to return to Earth," Ashton jumped in at the earliest opportunity, "but at best you would still be five years from federation space. If we can return the shuttle to Earth, the transwarp coil can be studied further, and we may be able to perfect transwarp technology in less than that time."

"And if you don't?" she folded her arms, "would you like me to condemn my crew to a further twenty three years away from their loved ones just so that you can get back to yours before the end of this week?"

He looked ashamed that she had guessed he underlying motives for his objections so easily, "as I said earlier, our ship has room for two other passengers, we will gladly take whoever wants to come back with us."

"That's very… generous of you," Kathryn felt it wasn't the best time to bring up the fact that unless their test flight had encountered problems, she would have had no knowledge of their presence in the delta quadrant, and none her crew would have had the chance to return to Earth. "This is a difficult decision for any captain to make lieutenant, either way we're still stranded out here, the question is whether we will be closer to our destination with two extra crew members or not. Fortunately for me, I will be able to contact Starfleet in a couple of hours to ask their advice."

"Will you be contacting admiral Johnson directly?" Ashton now looked a little nervous.

"No," she said, studying him carefully as he started to look panicked, "I will contact pathfinder, hopefully they will be able to direct my request to the relevant channels."

"Captain, may I urge you not to inform pathfinder of our test flight, it is highly classified and they do not have the relevant-"

"I have already made my decision," she cut him off before he could finish, "and to be perfectly honest I do no appreciate this pact of secrecy, or the fact that secret experiments have been conducted without Starfleet's full permission."

"It was my understanding that you received an order direct from admiral Johnson not to disclose details of our mission to any unauthorised personnel… I have already had to explain to him the exception of the rest of Voyager's senior officers."

Kathryn was growing to dislike lieutenant Ashton, not only had he just revealed his secret correspondence with the Rangers liaison: admiral Johnson, but he also had the cheek to remind her of the orders she had received with the data stream the previous day. "I believe the admiral made a personal request for me to conceal your arrival from normal Starfleet channels, I refuse to co-operate with this secrecy any longer. If Starfleet wishes me to send you back on your way, then I will ensure that everything possible is done to prepare your ship for a safe return to Earth."

Ashton glared at her, but could not think of an appropriate response, "dismissed," she waved them both off with a flick of her hand before they could start up another debate in front of her.

V

Xanthia stepped into astrometrics in the hope of finding Seven, but after a quick glance around the large lab the only person she saw was a young man working at a console with his back to her. "Excuse me?" she stepped closer, surprised when the man turned around to reveal implants similar to those Seven had, "could you tell me where Seven of Nine is?"

Icheb nodded, "she is currently speaking to captain Janeway, do you need her urgently?"

"No, it can wait," she replied, although uncertain where she was going to go now as she found wherever she went on Voyager the crew stopped to ask her questions. The day before she had been able to handle it, but now the news had spread that she was the captain's daughter people seemed more eager than ever to speak to her.

"She should be back shortly if you want to wait here for her," Icheb offered, sensing her reluctance to leave.

She smiled gratefully, "if you don't mind."

"Not at all, I would appreciate the company… working in astrometrics is often solitary and can become very lonely."

The ease in which he made the admission surprised Xanthia, "to be honest I find the quiet in here to be quite refreshing."

Icheb gave her a small smile before returning to his work. A short while passed, a time by which the former Borg expected Seven to have returned. He looked across at Xanthia who was absently fiddling with her comm. badge as she gazed up at the star chart displayed on the large screen. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Xanthia turned to face him, her heart sinking at the prospect of another interrogation by a well intention crewman, "sure?"

"What's the academy like?"

His question stunned her as she had been expecting any number of other things to be said, "um, it's okay."

"I'm sorry to ask you," he was genuinely apologetic, "but many of the crew have not attended the academy, and those who have that I am comfortable approaching have not been for some time."

Xanthia smiled, "well I'm not sure whether or not it's changed much… I guess it's a lot like school, except almost everyone is focussed on working hard and doing well."

"Why would people at school not wish to work hard?" he asked, shocked to think that not everyone would put their education before all else in life.

She shrugged, "lots of reasons, but often their talents lie elsewhere and they think that studying books and going to class is a waste of their time."

Icheb felt satisfied by her answer, so moved on, "what's field training like?"

"Hard," she admitted, "I joined the academy three years ago, and most people I was training with were a couple years older than me so I found field training especially challenging at first… Why are you asking me these questions anyway?"

"I have joined the academy as a distant learner and am curious what it's like to be there with all the other students," he admitted.

"I think you'd like it," she grinned, "sorry, I didn't get your name."

"Icheb," he smiled brightly.

"Xanthia," she reached across to shake hands with him, "now, what else did you want to know?"

V

There were five people sat around one side of the briefing table, all facing the screen as they waited for a transmission to be routed through from astrometrics. Kathryn sat at the head of the table with her chair twisted round, Chakotay (who's stomach was still feeling rather delicate) to her left followed by Ashton, Seven and finally B'Elanna. Out of the eleven minutes they were able to establish a subspace transmission with Starfleet each day, nine of those were usually reserved for members of the crew to contact their own families, the other two were taken up by a large data stream as Voyager transmitted logs and they received various letters from home.

Every now and again Voyager was unable to make the connection due to technical difficulties, space anomalies and communications silence as they travelled through hostile territories, but using that precious time for official business such as today was something that Kathryn tried desperately to avoid. Admiral Paris appeared on the screen, his office partially in view behind him.

"Captain? Reg said that you wanted to speak with me," although he looked calm, his voice betrayed his worry at the unscheduled meeting.

"Yes, I was hoping to receive some advice from the relevant channels, regarding a matter that has arisen in the past couple of days," she explained.

The admiral looked instantly relieved, "what sort of matter?"

"Two days ago we intercepted a transwarp capable test shuttle when we responded to a federation distress signal," she started to explain.

"A Starfleet vessel?"

"As it turns out, yes. Lieutenant James Ashton who is here now is one of the pilots," she indicated the man a short distance from her, "the other pilot is a cadet Xanthia Artuso."

Chakotay didn't miss the admiral's eyes widen at the mention of the second name, he looked questioningly at Kathryn who gave a slight nod of her head. "How did an officer and a cadet get their hands on a transwarp ship?" he quickly shook himself from his momentary lapse in concentration.

"Apparently they have been working on a covert project experimenting with Borg technology," Kathryn made her distaste of the secrecy of the project clear with her tone, "which is why I have waited until now to tell you about their arrival. Lieutenant Ashton's report on it is being sent through to you now, along with other data that has been collected over the past few days."

"Yes," he looked down at something out of their range of view, "I think I've received it."

"Our initial plan was to assist the pilots with their repairs and to then send them back on their way to Earth, however Seven has made some discoveries about the transwarp coil that have put those plans into question." Kathryn then handed the floor over to the former Borg to allow her to put her ideas forward.

The briefing lasted no longer than five minutes in total, but it felt much longer than that to Chakotay as Seven explained the significance of the transwarp coil that was still sitting in engineering. B'Elanna supported the plans to integrate the coil into Voyager's systems, and Ashton argued against them, at the same time stressing the need for secrecy over the experiment. Chakotay spoke for the crew, agreeing that ultimately it was Starfleet's decision, but that many people may begin to feel animosity towards the fleet if the decision did not ultimately bring them closer to Earth, one way or the other.

Admiral Paris promised to get a decision back to them within the next couple of days, and all too soon the channel was closed and Kathryn was dismissing them from around the table, she didn't appear in the least bit surprised when she saw that Chakotay stayed behind.

"What are you thinking?" she asked when the last person had gone from the room to leave the two of them alone.

"I'm wondering since when you referred your decisions to Starfleet," he said.

Kathryn turned to study him; she hated it when he did this, when he asked her a question that he already knew the answer to in order to make her question herself. "Since this doesn't just affect our crew, but also two officers who were meant to be back in the alpha quadrant by now if their mission had have gone as expected."

"Is this about cadet Artuso?" Chakotay gently pressed, although she looked shocked at the mere suggestion he continued anyway, "are you worried about what will happen if we use the coil on Voyager and you have to integrate her into this crew?"

"No," her first officer gave her a sceptical, "of course I'm concerned about how they both would adjust and fit into our crew, and yes, maybe more so about the cadet as she is so young and inexperienced…"

"Not because she's your daughter?" he interrupted.

"The fact she is my daughter is a separate concern, at the moment I'm trying to think of her as if she were any other Starfleet officer. You know Chakotay some of us are able to separate our personal feelings from the actions we take," her reference to the previous night was subtle, but enough to remind him of his guilt over it.

"I know," his voice was quiet, "I just wanted to make sure you knew your reluctance to make a decision over this wasn't because of the personal issues you're currently facing with the cadet."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow, she had thought he was making the wrong assumption about what was going on, now she realised his rouse. "Then why am I redirecting this decision?" she folded her arms and gave him an expectant look.

"You want to avoid the blame falling on you again," he said simply, much to her surprise, "you're worried that by using the transwarp coil you'll be held responsible for stranding two other people on Voyager, and by not using it you'll be missing an opportunity to considerably cut short our journey."

She opened her mouth to tell him that he was wrong, but no words came out when she realised that he was right, as usual. "So?" she folded her arms, annoyed that he could read her so easily.

"No one blames you Kathryn," he insisted, not for the first or last time, "because of you an entire alien civilisation was saved from the Kazon," he reached out to take her hand in his own, clutching it tightly, "so what if a hundred and fifty people or so have to take the long way home if millions of lives and an entire culture are saved."

Closing her eyes she allowed his comforting words to wash over her, "this is different," she insisted.

"I know," he agreed with a soft smile, "and that's Starfleet's problem now, I just don't want you to feel that you're taking some easy way out by asking their advice."

"Thank you," she looked up to meet his gaze. As their eyes locked they both felt the atmosphere around them become charged as the many things that remained unsaid passed between them. At some point in their journey together he had fallen in love with her, and by some miracle she felt the same way. As circumstance would have it, exploring their feelings for one another was out of the question so they both desperately resisted the strong force that pulled them towards each other.

Over the years they had both started to forget that connection, and put it down to nothing more than physical attraction, but since Chakotay had kissed her that previous night, the passion with which they had once loved each other reminded them of what they had slowly been letting go. It was Kathryn who eventually looked away, and reluctantly Chakotay released her hand; knowing that this was the wrong moment to talk about it; as if there was a right moment to bring it up anyway. He cleared his throat, "we should get back to the bridge."

To be continued.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it's taken so long to update, I'll try and do better to get chapter 7 posted quicker for next time. Enjoy.

Chapter 6

Tom ran the last stretch of corridor to sickbay at superhuman speed, arriving there out of breath with his pulse pounding in his head. He immediately located his wife sitting on the edge of a bio bed as she chatted pleasantly with the doctor, "hi Tom?" she smiled as he came over.

"Is this it?" he asked, panic and anticipation coming close to overwhelming him.

"Not this time," the doctor rested a hand on the pilot's shoulder.

"It was another false labour," B'Elanna explained.

Tom wasn't sure which feeling was more prominent, relief or annoyance that he had had to run all the way from the mess hall on another false alert. "I should imagine you may have another couple of these before the real thing," the doctor said with a sugary sweet smile, the pilot looked less than amused, "let's just call these the test runs for the real thing."

B'Elanna looked at her husband apologetically, but he instantly felt guilty at seeing her apology, knowing that it wasn't her fault. He smiled to let her know that it was okay, waiting until the doctor had made himself scarce before he closed the gap between them to press his lips to hers. "I was impressed with how quickly you managed to get down here," she tried to point out one positive from the 'test run'.

"So was I," he said as he helped her get down from the bio bed, "just think of the great shape I'm going to be in once this baby eventually decides to come out."

She chuckled and together they left sickbay. "Have you finished your work on the shuttle?"

"Yeah. I've done all that I can do," he said sliding his arm behind her and placing his hand on her lower back as they walked, "I hear you spoke to my old man today?"

"I spoke to admiral Paris," she corrected him, "but your father did give me a small wink when I first started speaking to him."

"Like this?" he pulled off a close imitation.

"Yes," she rolled her eyes, "somehow I can imagine him being a lot like yourself thirty years ago."

Tom's smile faltered, "he was a great dad when I was young."

"Was?" B'Elanna frowned, she knew Tom had felt some animosity towards his father until the two men had made up with each other shortly after establishing contact with Earth, and had put down the bad stories he had told of him down to their disagreement thirteen years ago when Tom had left Starfleet.

He shrugged, "over the years my father became more career obsessed and me and my sisters saw less of him than we would have liked. He put a lot of pressure on me to join Starfleet, and when I eventually did it wasn't because I wanted to, but because he wanted me to, and I always resented him for that." Tom went quiet a moment, "I just hope I'm never like that."

B'Elanna shot him a reassuringly look, "you won't be."

"Thanks," he met her gaze for a moment.

"Did I hear you and Harry making plans to sabotage Tuvok's meditation program this morning?" she changed the subject.

"Shhh," Tom glanced around the deserted corridor, "he might be listening."

"Tom, I doubt Tuvok's tracking your every move," she shot him an incredulous expression.

"You don't know that," he insisted, "but if you must know, Harry and I were just going over the reprogramming in the mess hall before the doctor contacted me."

"I'm not sure I even want to ask," she sighed.

"How does a visit from Santa sound?"

"Santa?" B'Elanna had to make sure she had heard right.

"Yes," he confirmed for her, "bearing gifts that both Harry and myself have spent a lot of time designing…"

"Don't tell me any more," she found the childish pranks that Harry and Tom played on Tuvok more cruel than humorous, "I don't want to be an accessory."

"You're my wife B'E," he needlessly reminded her as they stepped into the turbo lift, "you're an accessory by association."

V

The setting sun glimmered off the water that stretched in all directions around the boat, the harbour was now a distant collection of silhouettes and lights as they sailed further out. Chakotay surreptitiously increased the temperature settings of the program when he noticed Seven shiver with the cool evening breeze, and once he had checked all the ropes of the sailing boat were secure he made his way to the end of the deck where Seven was pouring the synthahol.

"So what do you make of your first sailing adventure?" he asked as he took the glass she offered him.

"There are more efficient ways of crossing water," she said, then saw her date raise his eyebrow, "however I find this method very relaxing."

Chakotay smiled, glad to see she was making an effort to enjoy the evening at last after she had spent the first twenty minutes complaining about the instability of the boat. "When I was younger my father would take me and my sister sailing every summer. Although I loved it as a child after about the age of fourteen I refused to go with my father and it wasn't until I was in my twenties that I took it up again."

"Why did you refuse to accompany your father?" she looked genuinely confused.

He laughed lightly to himself; sometimes he forgot that this woman had never experienced an adolescence, "because I was trying to be rebellious. I rejected everything my father had taught me and I looked at my peoples customs as if they were a waste of time. As you said, there are more efficient ways to move over the water, and I decided I had better things to do than sail."

"What made you take it up again?"

Chakotay paused, wondering if she would appreciate his honesty, "a girl," he replied. "I went on vacation to Newport one year and met a local whose father owned a sailing boat," he decided at that point not to go into full details about this holiday romance, "it was over those two weeks that I rediscovered my love for sailing."

"And the girl?" Seven asked suspiciously.

He grinned, "our… friendship had flourished in Newport, but it faded quickly when I returned to duty."

Seven's eyes drifted from him to the water as it lapped up against the side of the boat, not happy to be reminded of how experienced Chakotay was compared to her complete lack of experience with relationships. He seemed to sense her thoughts as he came to sit down next to her, "you can't compare yourself to a woman like that who meant nothing to me," he said, his expression serious and genuine, "this means a lot more to me than some woman who's name I struggle to remember."

"Really?" never before had he seen her look so uncertain, and for the first time since they had started dating did he fully appreciate the responsibility he now owed her, as this first relationship for her would determine all other relationships that followed. Only once that thought had passed through his mind did he realise that whatever he became to Seven, he did not intend for this to be a long term partnership, although she may have other expectations from their relationship.

"Yes, really," he tried to look sincere, but even as he said the words he started to question them; only the other night had he kissed Kathryn and now the full betrayal of what he had done dawned upon him. He hadn't thought too much about it first, it wasn't as if he had never kissed his captain before and his main concern afterwards had been the disruption that his momentary lapse in restraint would cause to their command relationship. Now he considered his new responsibility to Seven, and that if their relationship became more serious he would have to keep his feelings for Kathryn much better in check.

It was only when he felt his wine glass being taken from his hands that his thoughts moved back to the holodeck with Seven, and then she pressed her lips to his and his mind went completely blank. The passion with which she kissed him intensified and he found himself responding automatically as he moved his hand from her knee and slowly up her thigh, it was only when he noticed she was undoing his shirt buttons that he pulled back. Surprising not only her but himself by his sudden involuntary action.

Seven frowned, unsure whether or not to be offended, "what's wrong?"

He looked down at her hands which were rested flat against his chest and covered them with his own in an effort to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong, "nothing, it's just…" he trailed off, unsure he knew how to explain his reservations.

"You do not wish to copulate?" she pressed.

Chakotay looked stunned at her bluntness, "no," he managed a small grin, "I do. It's just I'm not sure if you're ready… if this is too soon."

"I have studied-"

"No, Seven," he cut her off, "this isn't something you can study, this is something you only know is right when you feel it is."

She went quiet a long moment, a thoughtful look on her face, "over the past month that we have been dating I feel I have started to form an emotional bond to you… I wish to explore this further."

He gazed across at her, part of him wanting more than anything to take her up on her offer and he was confused as to why there was another part of him desperately screaming at him not to. He wasn't in love with her, but that had never stopped him with other women before, and at least with her he could say that he did care a great deal. Although he was concerned at her lack of experience, he knew that Seven would have put a lot of thought into this, and she was most probably as ready now as she would ever be.

Then the problem came to him like a smack in the face: Kathryn. It wasn't that he loved her that had caused him to pull back, as he had dealt with those feelings a long while ago; he was ready to move on and he was happy to do so with Seven. It wasn't that he wanted Kathryn's blessing for their relationship, as he knew she would give it. His reluctance to become intimate with the former Borg went back to the previous night when he had kissed Kathryn, and he realised he needed to deal with that issue before he intensified his relationship with Seven.

"There's no rush," he said eventually, and she seemed satisfied with his response as she settled into his arms and together they watched the rest of the sun set.

To be continued.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Sat in her most comfortable arm chair with a mug of freshly brewed coffee in one hand and a good book in the other, Kathryn was annoyed when her peace and quiet was disturbed by someone at the door to her quarters. Inwardly she sighed, "enter," she called out, expecting to see her first officer skulk into her private space. She was more than a little surprised to find Xanthia standing hesitantly by the door.

"Cadet?" she frowned, putting the book to one side and standing slowly from her chair, "is there something I can help you with?"

Xanthia looked uncertain, "I'm sorry to bother you in your quarters, but I didn't think I could wait until tomorrow to speak with you."

Kathryn nodded, clutching her coffee cup in both hands, "you'd better come in and take a seat," she said, moving over to the dining area. The young woman made her way cautiously inside, unable to stop herself taking a look around the space as her curiosity got the better of her. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"I'm fine thank you," she said as she took one of the chairs at the dining table and Kathryn took one opposite.

"So what did you want to speak with me about so urgently?" she was hoping that Xanthia wasn't there for personal reasons as she was unsure she was ready for _that_ conversation just yet.

"Lieutenant Ashton is worried that Starfleet will agree for you to incorporate the transwarp coil into Voyager's systems…" she started to explain her presence there.

"The lieutenant didn't send you here to try and talk me out of using the transwarp coil if that is what's decided?" she eyed the other woman suspiciously.

"No," Xanthia seemed genuinely alarmed by the assumption, "but Ashton did approach me earlier tonight and suggested that if Starfleet does not agree to give us back the transwarp coil that we should… take it anyway."

Kathryn's eyes widened, "how does he plan to do that?"

The other woman shrugged, "I'm not sure, but I thought I should let you know that lieutenant Ashton is willing to go to extreme lengths to ensure his immediate return to Earth."

The warning itself did not come as a surprise to Kathryn as she had noticed some instability to Ashton's character earlier that day, but _who_ was delivering the warning did surprise her. "Why are you telling me this?" she studied Xanthia carefully.

Xanthia frowned, "I thought you would want to know."

"I do," she quickly confirmed, "I'm just not entirely sure why you would risk a sure and fast return to Earth by informing me of Ashton's plans."

"Because using the transwarp coil for Voyager would cut your thirty year journey down to five years," she felt uncertain why the captain was questioning her motives when it was obvious she was doing the right thing.

"And what about you?" Kathryn folded her arms, "would you be happy to remain on Voyager for those five years?"

Xanthia's expression hardened, "I will follow through with whatever Starfleet decides," she said neutrally. Kathryn realised she was unnecessarily antagonising the cadet, but before she could apologise or commend Xanthia for her actions she continued. "Unless of course you want rid of me so desperately that you're willing to travel those extra twenty five years."

"Xanthia, that's not why I'm questioning you for coming here," she tried to rectify the situation, "I'm just surprised at your selflessness."

The younger woman seemed content at the explanation and forced herself to relax, "I don't want to be here any more than you want me here… but I'm willing to remain if it means bringing this crew closer to home."

Kathryn nodded, but before she could make a response they were interrupted by the sound of someone else at the door. She shot Xanthia an apologetic look and got up from the table to open the door. This time she wasn't surprised at the identity of her visitor when she found Chakotay standing patiently outside her quarters.

"I need to speak with you," he said quickly as if afraid she was going to close the door in his face.

"Chakotay, this isn't a good time…" she tried to indicate that she already had company, but he spoke before she had the chance.

"Kathryn," he pleaded, thinking that she was just trying to blow him off again, "we need to talk about what happened last night."

"I'm not alone," she muttered the moment he gave her the opportunity to speak.

Chakotay felt his stomach knot, knowing that what he had just said could easily be interpreted by anyone who had overhead, "you're not?" he dropped his voice. She shook her head, "who are you with?"

She stepped back to allow him entry, and his eyes widened when he saw Xanthia sitting at the dining table, "cadet," he greeted, unable to hide both his embarrassment and surprise.

"Commander Chakotay," she gave an acknowledging nod.

He shot Kathryn an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, I'm obviously interrupting…"

"It's okay, I was just about to leave," Xanthia said as she stood, suddenly wanting nothing more than to get out of there as quickly as was politely possible.

"Thank you for coming to see me," Kathryn tried to act as if nothing had happened, and Chakotay's interruption had been nothing more than a mild inconvenience instead of a much larger revelation into her private life than she wanted anyone on Voyager to know about. "If you can come to my office early tomorrow morning, we will discuss this further."

Xanthia nodded, but said nothing as she made a quick disappearance from the captain's quarters.

"Do you think she overhead?" Chakotay turned to her once the cadet had gone.

Kathryn glared across at him, "the question you should be asking yourself is if you think she's stupid enough not to have had a clue what you were talking about?"

"I'm sorry," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"You'd better hope she doesn't mention this to anyone," she scolded as she stepped towards the coffee that was now getting cold on her dining table, "the last thing I need right now is to hear the crew whispering about our relationship."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" he offered.

"No," she pinched the bridge of her nose and perched herself on the arm rest of the sofa, "you'll probably just make things worse."

"I'm sorry," he said again, but wasn't sure what he could say to really make things any better. "What was she doing here anyway?"

"She wanted to talk to me about Ashton… she doesn't think he's going to react well if Starfleet chose for us to use the transwarp coil on Voyager."

"Oh," he said thoughtfully, making himself comfortable in her armchair across from where she was sat, "and how do you think Xanthia will react if she finds out she'll be spending at least another five years away from her home?"

Kathryn shrugged, "honestly I don't know, but she didn't seem too daunted by the prospect of it when I asked her."

"Well if she's anything like you she'd look the Borg queen in the eye and come away afterwards acting like nothing had happened," he joked softly, disappointed when not even a trace of a smile emerged on her face. "You know, having her onboard could give you both the opportunity to get to know one another better," he suggested helpfully.

Frowning she looked up to meet his gaze, "how can you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Until yesterday you didn't even know I had a daughter, now you're giving me advice about how to deal with her… aren't you in the slightest bit mad at me for having not told you?"

Chakotay dropped his eyes from her gaze, "we've never pretended to be completely open with one another Kathryn. I'm disappointed that you felt you couldn't trust me, but no, I'm not angry." A silence overcame them, and although he saw an opportunity to question Kathryn some more about this part of her past, he sensed that it was the wrong time to bring it up; if she wanted to tell him, she would do so in her own time.

"So you said you wanted to talk about last night?" eventually she broke the silence.

Her words surprised him; it was quite unlike her to be willing to talk about such things, usually he had to force a discussion on her. "Yeah…" he said, but the speech he had carefully prepared had slipped his mind.

She looked across at him expectantly, "you wanted to come here and apologise for last night," she prompted when she realised his hesitation.

It was more a statement than a question, but he answered it anyway, "yes," he said slowly, glad that she was doing so much of the talking for him. "Last night was a mistake. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have kissed you like that."

Kathryn was a moment in responding, "are you saying that because you understand there are boundaries between us that we shouldn't cross. Or that you're suddenly feeling guilty for cheating on Seven?" His jaw dropped; she knew. Her face was now a mask he was unable to read, and he was unsure what her true feelings about it were, "you're not the only one to be disappointed by our lacking ability to confide in one another recently." She said, and he knew instantly that she had known about his relationship with Seven for some time, which explained her distant behaviour towards him over the past couple of weeks.

"I was going to tell you," he stammered, feeling inexplicably nervous, "but Seven and I wanted to keep our relationship quiet until we knew where it was going."

A silence hung over them, and Chakotay was uncertain what to say or to do next, fortunately Kathryn spoke before the quiet became too awkward, "I hope that you treat her with the respect that she deserves Chakotay… unlike last night."

He felt like reminding her that she had kissed him back, but felt it was a bad time to get into a debate over who was further in the wrong as he knew he would easily lose. "That's why I wanted us to deal with this now," he admitted.

"Do you feel like we've dealt with it?"

"I guess," he frowned, now reconsidering if they had actually accomplished anything by confronting what had happened.

"Then maybe we should call it a night."

Her suggestion was said in such a way that he knew he had no choice but to leave and reluctantly he stood from her arm chair, "good night Kathryn," he said.

She offered him a tight smile, "good night," she replied, and watched silently as he left her quarters.

To be continued.


End file.
